Category Archives: The Phillies

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SHAME ON ALL OF YOUS

Look, I know this is just some stupid poll that doesn’t mean anything, but really people?  The infallible one, Sir Carlos Chooch Ruiz, gets 7% and finishes in a distant last place??  I don’t even know what to say.  Mini-Chooch … Continue reading

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IS SARGE THE PHANATIC’S PHATHER??

The ongoing search for the identity of the Phillie Phanatic’s phather has taken an interesting turn.  After I recently suggested that David Montgomery or Bill Giles was the deadbeat dad of the Phanatic, I got this comment from my phriend, … Continue reading

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THE PHATHERLESS PLOT THICKENS

A couple of weeks ago the Phillie Phanatic turned 35 years old.  The Phillies celebrated his birthday on April 21st (his actual birthday is April 25th).  One of his birthday presents was that he was allowed to run the Phillies … Continue reading

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WELCOME BACK, SIR CHOOCH!!

Chooch has been gone for far too long.  I haven’t even seen Mini-Phan for a month.  He’s been that depressed.  However, the Savior of Our City, the Infallible One, Lord Sir Carlos Chooch Ruiz is coming home, tomorrow.  Phinally!!  If … Continue reading

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HOW CHOOCH IS SPENDING HIS TIME ON HIS SABBATICAL

Chooch has a lot of free time on his hands since he’s been unfairly banned from the first 25 Phillies games of the season.  How has he been keeping busy?  Last season, I found out how Chooch spent his time … Continue reading

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MISSING YOU, CHOOCH

The Phillies are 2-4.  The pitching has been terrible except for Lee and Lannan.   This is obviously due to the lack of our favorite human, Carlos Ruiz.  I’m not knocking Erik Kratz at all.  I mean he’s a fine backup … Continue reading

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ALTERNATE REALITIES STARRING JOHN LANNAN AND JOHN MAYBERRY, JR.

Hi everybody.  Was sitting here killing time until the Flyers and Phillies games.  This is what I came up with. I’m sorry…Let’s Go Flyers and Let’s (for cryin’ out loud) Go Phillies!!

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THE 2013 PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES FT. THE WU-TANG KILLA BEES PART II *parental advisory explicit lyrics*

On Tuesday, I paired the Phillies Opening Day Lineup with classic Wu-Tang lyrics.  Today, I present the rest of the team.  Like before, I’m not censoring the posts and if you have any complaints, please send them directly to The … Continue reading

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THE 2013 PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES FT. THE WU-TANG KILLA BEES (OPENING DAY LINEUP) *parental advisory explicit lyrics*

1993 brought us the 1993 World Series Phillies team and the classic game-changing album, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), by The Wu-Tang Clan.  Both groups of men took the world by storm that year.  For my 2013 Phillies team preview, I … Continue reading

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WE’RE RUF (LAZY POST)

I haven’t been doing anything but watching basketball on horrible internationally streamed feeds since Tuesday.  I also have nothing to say.  Yet I feel like I need to post something.  So it’s time for the laziest post ever. In honor … Continue reading

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