Category Archives: The Phillies

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FROM GOAT TO HERO: THE MAN WHO SAVED MAIKEL FRANCO’S FIRST HOME RUN BALL FROM THE JAWS OF EVIL

In case you have a job, or kids, or something, you may not have seen this apparent thievery of a woman who has been dubbed by the media “a cute, sweet, old, lady/granny.”  Now on first look combined with immediately … Continue reading

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THE GALAPAGOS GANG MURDERED A MAN

I was watching the Phillies game today with Baby Phan One and saw something that I cannot unsee.  The Phillie Phanatic’s phriends, the Galapagos Gang murdered a man. I laughed it off so as to not upset my daughter, but … Continue reading

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NOTABLE JOE WEST EJECTIONS

Everybody knows how godawful an umpire Joe West is.  His latest quest to one-up himself came on Sunday when he threw Jonathan Papelbon out of a game for simply adjusting himself.  As if that wasn’t enough, he had the audacity … Continue reading

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TRADE CANDIDATE: REID BRIGNAC

The Phillies are in a bind.  The trade deadline is rapidly approaching and they don’t really have anybody to trade.  Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley don’t want to leave.  A.J. Burnett, Cliff Lee, and Jonathan Papelbon all just crapped the … Continue reading

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RUBEN AMARO, JR SIGNS AN INFANT

In a move that most of the baseball world are viewing as a radical, desperate attempt to save his job, Ruben Amaro, Jr. has signed a one week old infant to a decades-long contract. The contract is a complex one … Continue reading

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THE CURIOUS CASE OF DOMONIC BROWN

It was well-known when the detestable Dallas Cowboys beat our majestic Philadelphia Eagles on October 20th, that local hero and Phillie, Domonic Brown, tweeted a tweet that sent our hearts into a fury.  I was one of the first responders.  … Continue reading

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RUBEN RETOOLSⅡ

If you missed it, here’s the original.

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