Author Archives: Displaced Phan

About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.

ANOTHER REASON WHY WE’RE THE BEST

Posted on July 3, 2014 by Displaced Phan

As everyone knows our madman Captain, Claude Girouxxx, got freshman year of college hammered on Canadian 4th of July (July 1st) and repeatedly grabbed a male cop’s ass.  Now for pretty much all fanbases, this would be disastrous.  The torment … Continue reading →

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THE CURIOUS CASE OF DOMONIC BROWN

Posted on January 14, 2014 by Displaced Phan

It was well-known when the detestable Dallas Cowboys beat our majestic Philadelphia Eagles on October 20th, that local hero and Phillie, Domonic Brown, tweeted a tweet that sent our hearts into a fury.  I was one of the first responders.  … Continue reading →

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2013 in review

Posted on January 2, 2014 by Displaced Phan

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt: A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,500 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway … Continue reading →

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A RESURRECTION OF SORTS

Posted on October 14, 2013 by Displaced Phan

I haven’t updated this site in a while.  It had been so long that I couldn’t remember my password.  After resetting it, I was amazed to see that people were actually still visiting each day.  Why haven’t I been posting?  … Continue reading →

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THE PHILADELPHIA SOUL MUST FULFILL THEIR DESTINY AND SAVE US ALL

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Displaced Phan

I haven’t posted anything in a while.  Post-deportation has been tough and time-consuming.  The Phillies stink and today Charlie Manuel got fired.  Needless to say, I’m not a happy phan right now.  So what is the only thing that could … Continue reading →

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RUBEN RETOOLSⅡ

Posted on July 27, 2013 by Displaced Phan

If you missed it, here’s the original.

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A BREAK IN THE PHANATIC’S PHATHER SEARCH?

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Displaced Phan

Even through my recent deportation and subsequent rebuilding of the Phan empire, I haven’t ceased the search for the Phillie Phanatic’s missing phather.  I’ve found a few clues here and there since my last post about the search. I found … Continue reading →

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KEEP YOUR HIGH HOPES, DOPES

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Displaced Phan

The Phillies are no longer losers.  They aren’t exactly winners either.  With a .500 record and a lot of baseball left to play, they are still contenders.  You can read article after article about how the Phillies should actually have … Continue reading →

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DEPORTATION COMPLETE

Posted on July 12, 2013 by Displaced Phan

The Phan Phamily is back in the United States of America.  My Mini-Chooch induced deportation happened last week.  Fortunately, the American officials that reclaimed us didn’t give us any trouble as we came through Ellis Island. Since, we’ve been back … Continue reading →

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MINI-CHOOCH GOT DEPORTED TO PANAMA

Posted on June 25, 2013 by Displaced Phan

Early this morning, the Chilean government came and took Mini-Chooch away.  I don’t even know what to say.  I’m heartbroken.  He’s being sent to Panama immediately.  Mrs. Phan inexplicably took a picture of the ordeal… I’m hoping he’ll be happier … Continue reading →

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