Author Archives: Displaced Phan

About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.

FROM GOAT TO HERO: THE MAN WHO SAVED MAIKEL FRANCO’S FIRST HOME RUN BALL FROM THE JAWS OF EVIL

In case you have a job, or kids, or something, you may not have seen this apparent thievery of a woman who has been dubbed by the media “a cute, sweet, old, lady/granny.”  Now on first look combined with immediately … Continue reading

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THE GALAPAGOS GANG MURDERED A MAN

I was watching the Phillies game today with Baby Phan One and saw something that I cannot unsee.  The Phillie Phanatic’s phriends, the Galapagos Gang murdered a man. I laughed it off so as to not upset my daughter, but … Continue reading

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NOTABLE JOE WEST EJECTIONS

Everybody knows how godawful an umpire Joe West is.  His latest quest to one-up himself came on Sunday when he threw Jonathan Papelbon out of a game for simply adjusting himself.  As if that wasn’t enough, he had the audacity … Continue reading

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THE REAL JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS WATCH THE EAGLES GAME

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TREASONOUS TRAITORS

I was at a farmer’s market somewhere in what could be described as “Redskins Country” (whatever that means) this past weekend.  I, of course, was dressed to the nines in full Eagles regalia.  As I was walking along with Baby … Continue reading

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THE PHANATIC’S PHATHER IS STILL ON THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS

I haven’t abandoned hope on trying to find out the identity of the Phillie Phanatic’s phather.  After examining the possibilities of Bill Giles, David Montgomery, Gary “Sarge” Matthews, Tim McCarver, and Mr. Snufflelupagus, the trail seemed to have died a … Continue reading

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TRADE CANDIDATE: REID BRIGNAC

The Phillies are in a bind.  The trade deadline is rapidly approaching and they don’t really have anybody to trade.  Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley don’t want to leave.  A.J. Burnett, Cliff Lee, and Jonathan Papelbon all just crapped the … Continue reading

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AN OVERDUE POSTCARD FROM MINI-CHOOCH

I finally received a postcard from my long deported clone of Carlos Ruiz, Mini-Chooch today!  I hadn’t heard from him in ages.  It seems as if he is doing well playing lots of baseball.  I was hoping to Skype with … Continue reading

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LET THE BRAINWASHING BEGIN

Mrs. Phan and I welcomed our newest edition to the Phan Clan two weeks ago.  “Baby Phan 2: The Reckoning” is a healthy and sleepy baby boy.  Much like the birth of his sister, Baby Phan, I got right to … Continue reading

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RUBEN AMARO, JR SIGNS AN INFANT

In a move that most of the baseball world are viewing as a radical, desperate attempt to save his job, Ruben Amaro, Jr. has signed a one week old infant to a decades-long contract. The contract is a complex one … Continue reading

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