NFL journeyman-backup quarterback, Tim Tebow (above, crying), accepted a deal today to become “Stupid” Tom Brady’s backup in New England. Normally, I wouldn’t give a quarter of a damn about this. However, that SOB, Tebow turned down an offer to play for the pride of Philadelphia, your first-place Philadelphia Soul.
How could Tim Tebow (below, frenching teammate) do such a thing? He could have attained Arena Bowl glory instead of playing garbage time minutes in Brady’s shadow. SMPhH. That bum. This is unforgivable. I mean who would want to play for the Patriots? They haven’t won a title since 2005 when they beat…wait a minute, I don’t like where this is headed. My point is that the Soul won in 2008, so they’re obviously the better choice because they’ve been World Phucking Champions kind of recently.
It’s probably a good thing that the Patriots don’t come to Philly this year, because Tebow (below, sizing up new teammate) would probably get a D-cell to the dome, since he won’t be wearing a helmet because he won’t see the field.