MY PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD STATUS UPDATE V

As you can see on the map below, displacedphan.com is coming along nicely in its quest for global domination:

WTPh, Greenland and China??

WTPh, Greenland and China??

Here’s some of the latest countries to swear their allegiance to The Displaced Phan Movement.

RUSSIAN FEDERATION:

Russian_Flag_with_map-tile

As any good American kid that grew up in the 80’s, I’m intensely wary of Russians.  I’m more or less convinced that they are all KGB spies.  They also drink 8 glasses of vodka a day, so they’re liable to go in a drunken rage at any second.  Russia is the world leader in the production of hot female tennis players.  My upstairs neighbors are Russian and make odd noises late at night.  Don’t worry, I’ve reported them to the proper authorities.

ISRAEL:

israel-tileEveryone I’ve ever met from Israel has been 100% cool.  That’s a total of maybe 13 people, but still totally great people.  The entire country is a member of the National Army.  For some reason I still haven’t seen Don’t Mess With The Zohan.   However, I’m sure the proud people of Israel are thrilled with Adam Sandler’s performance in it.

BRAZIL:

flag_of_brazil-svg-tile

I’ve never been to Brazil, but I’m under the impression they just party all day long.  I have had caipirinhas before and those will set you straight quick.  When I was in High School, I had to babysit my littlest brother every day after school.  He loved to watch Barney and the Power Rangers daily.  It drove me nuts.  My sweet reward was that he also watched Xuxa every day (google her) after those two shows.

REPUBLIC OF KOREA:

koreaflag-tileThis is the Korea that doesn’t constantly threaten to kill us.  The guy on the right is Nelson Shin and he helped animate every cartoon you watched since the 70’s.  Korean food is delicious.  Like most of Asia, giant monsters live in their harbors.  I hope Psy is over.

NETHERLANDS:

NETH0001-tileLast Olympics, we learned that their women’s field hockey team is ridiculously hot.  People from here like to drink beer and wear wooden shoes.  They also lure American’s over with their lax laws on fun which helps their GNP.

My thanks go out to all of the new countries that are supporting me and this site (yes, even you Russia).  I look forward to taking over your respective head of states’ residences sometime soon.

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About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.
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