THE PHATHERLESS PLOT THICKENS

A couple of weeks ago the Phillie Phanatic turned 35 years old.  The Phillies celebrated his birthday on April 21st (his actual birthday is April 25th).  One of his birthday presents was that he was allowed to run the Phillies official Twitter account for a couple of hours before the game.  I took this opportunity to ask a hard-hitting question that been on everyone’s mind for 35 years…

PhatherThe garnered no reply at all.  Hmmm.  Now I know I was being a bit of a jerk asking him such a personal question on his birthday.  However, this was the only opportunity I’ve ever had to actually ask him.  We see his mom, Phoebe, all the time.  In fact, I saw her today at the Mother’s Appreciation Day game.  I just don’t understand all of the secrecy.  Is his father a high-ranking Phillies official (Bill Giles, David Montgomery) and the Phanatic has been receiving favorable nepotistic benefits all of these years?  Phoebe Phanatic seems to be a kept woman as well.  There are no records of her employment anywhere.  The Phanatic could be supporting her, but she seems to be getting more than what his meager mascot pay would allow her.  Since I don’t have any better guess right now, I’m going to say yes.  One of these men is quite likely to be the Phillie Phanatic’s phather and the Phanatic and Phoebe have been living a privileged life as a result.

Phoebe Phanatic, a kept woman?

Is Phoebe Phanatic in a vicious love triangle with top-ranking Phillies brass?

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About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.
This entry was posted in Phanatic's Phather Search, The Phillies and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to THE PHATHERLESS PLOT THICKENS

  1. terilyns says:

    Hahaha only you would write about this but the funny thing is, i was thinking about this very thing when i went to that birthday game.

  2. Maybe it’s the Sarge.

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