HOW I’LL CONVINCE MRS. PHAN TO LET ME BUY ROCKY BALBOA’S SOUTH PHILLY HOUSE

2313 S. Lambert Street AKA Rocky and Adrian’s house from Rocky II is on sale.  I’ve been racking my brain since Thursday trying to figure out how Mrs. Phan could possibly go along with my plan to purchase it.  Like any properly raised Philadelphian, the Rocky movies are among my favorites (even Rocky V).  Take a look at the photos of the house via Realtor.com (if you buy it, I’ll hunt you down).

RockyIIHouse

Not too shabby, right.  For a $140,000 price tag, I was expecting far worse.  I’m a little nervous about the state of the bedrooms and bathrooms, but I’ll worry about that after we move in.  After 48 hours of pondering, I’ve come up with a solid argument that Mrs. Phan can’t possibly say no to:

1.  We’d own a piece of Americana.  Mrs. Phan doesn’t like sports, but she does like movies, especially the Rocky series.  The chance of owning a living piece of cinema history does not come around too often.  We’d be dopes not to invest in this opportunity.

I'll need that jacket too.

I’ll need that jacket too.

2.  After purchasing the house, we can renew our vows and I can carry her over the threshold just like Rocky did Adrien.

How romantic!

How romantic!

3.  The fact that the house is only 2 miles from the Sports Complex means not paying for transportation, gas, parking fees.  Plus I get exercise.

Oh, hell no!

Oh, Hell no!

4.  She would have lots of free time due to Baby Phan and I going to the Sports Complex on a near daily basis.

Baby Phan is down for whatever, yo.

Baby Phan is down for whatever, yo.

5.  It will allow Mrs. Phan to practice her home remodeling/home decorating skills after watching many hours of home improvement shows throughout the years.

The basement, post remodeling.

The basement, post remodeling.

6.  I would agree to get two turtles named Cuff and Link.  No dogs named, Butkus, though.

They will outlive us!

They will outlive us!

7.  I wouldn’t have to talk to her about Philly sports anymore since we’d live in Philly and that’s where the majority of the phans live.

My new best friends!

My new best friends!

8.  Being that it only costs $140,000.  We can actually afford to buy it without going completely broke forcing us to have to rob people on Christmas.

No need for this.

No need for this.

9.  I’d hang punching bags in the basement to punch when any of the Philly teams lose.  I’d be in peak boxer shape without having to get punched in the head by the end of the current Flyers season.

I'll look like this at 60!

I’ll look like this at 60!

10.  Finally, we’d be able to run Rocky Tours and collect tons of cash.  The house would be paid off in two years tops.

Make money, take money, go shopping!

Make money, take money, go shopping!

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About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.
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