2313 S. Lambert Street AKA Rocky and Adrian’s house from Rocky II is on sale. I’ve been racking my brain since Thursday trying to figure out how Mrs. Phan could possibly go along with my plan to purchase it. Like any properly raised Philadelphian, the Rocky movies are among my favorites (even Rocky V). Take a look at the photos of the house via Realtor.com (if you buy it, I’ll hunt you down).
Not too shabby, right. For a $140,000 price tag, I was expecting far worse. I’m a little nervous about the state of the bedrooms and bathrooms, but I’ll worry about that after we move in. After 48 hours of pondering, I’ve come up with a solid argument that Mrs. Phan can’t possibly say no to:
1. We’d own a piece of Americana. Mrs. Phan doesn’t like sports, but she does like movies, especially the Rocky series. The chance of owning a living piece of cinema history does not come around too often. We’d be dopes not to invest in this opportunity.
2. After purchasing the house, we can renew our vows and I can carry her over the threshold just like Rocky did Adrien.
3. The fact that the house is only 2 miles from the Sports Complex means not paying for transportation, gas, parking fees. Plus I get exercise.
4. She would have lots of free time due to Baby Phan and I going to the Sports Complex on a near daily basis.
5. It will allow Mrs. Phan to practice her home remodeling/home decorating skills after watching many hours of home improvement shows throughout the years.
6. I would agree to get two turtles named Cuff and Link. No dogs named, Butkus, though.
7. I wouldn’t have to talk to her about Philly sports anymore since we’d live in Philly and that’s where the majority of the phans live.
8. Being that it only costs $140,000. We can actually afford to buy it without going completely broke forcing us to have to rob people on Christmas.
9. I’d hang punching bags in the basement to punch when any of the Philly teams lose. I’d be in peak boxer shape without having to get punched in the head by the end of the current Flyers season.
10. Finally, we’d be able to run Rocky Tours and collect tons of cash. The house would be paid off in two years tops.