It was Brian Dawkins night and he came out of the tunnel in typical fashion as he sacrificed a lamb at midfield and threw the severed head into the crowd. Everyone is sent into a frenzy…
INTENSITY LEVEL: 368,743,543,681.65³
Vick and Eli are getting murdered on every play, so it’s a win-win.
Defenses = 1 Offenses = 0
No one is scoring or doing much offensively. The red wine from dinner is making me sleepy. SUDDENLY…
Victor Cruz scores a touchdown and horrible NBC has salsa music cued up. I was sent into a Twitterous rage spewing hateful anti-NBC propaganda.
The Eagles take the lead as Alex Henery hits his 4th field goal of the game which is good (yay points!) and bad (score an ph-ing touchdown). I also know his name now since the team cut Henry and brought back Mat “Cowboys Stink” McBriar.
Emotional State = Guarded Optimism
1 minute and 34 seconds later = Extreme dread followed by euphoria!
But then, a cruel M. Night Shyamalan twist!
INTENSITY LEVEL: 0.014
But then, in our darkest hour, Brian Dawkins opened the Eagles Matrix of Leadership…
The moral of the story is: The Eagles own the Giants and always wear a pair of Depends when watching the game. E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES!! FIRSTEST PLACE!!
I also must commend Michael Vick for learning how to play the quarterback position. He clearly thought a lot about what he had done during his time in the timeout chair this past week.
*Field Goal GIF from SB Nation.