Phillies phans, do you have nightmares of this season? Grey hair? Balding? Do you need a backiotomy? Well fear no longer, Dr. Phan is here to cure what ails you! My lovely nurse Nicki H. has developed a cure that’ll make the first 62 games just disappear!
STEP RIGHT UP!!
The following has been Concocted by Nicki H. and Tested and Approved by Displaced Phan. My two-cents are provided in Phillie Red. Take it away, Nicki…
Phillies phans, we’ve become quite concerned about your health and well-being. As a fake on-line medical professional, Dr. Phan has asked me to concoct something to help you through the rough spots in the Phillies season.
I have for you:
The Mind Eraser
Ice
1 Shot Vodka (preferably chilled)
1 Shot Kahlua
2 oz Club Soda or 7-up
1 Straw
Fill a tall (narrow) 10 oz glass with ice. Place the straw in the glass, insuring that it touches the bottom. Pour vodka and Kahlua over the ice. Carefully top it with the soda. Take a deep breath. Drink the Mind Eraser through the straw in one draught.
It is recommended that you drink this delicious remedy during* or after approximately 53.2% of the Philly’s games. As the season improves you may be able to transition to a cure without brain freeze and amnesia as side effects.
*after every Shane or Jimmy pop-up, after each Pence first pitch out, each poorly played ball in the outfield, after every Wigginton/Fontenot error, after another player goes on the DL, after the bullpen blows a lead, after an opponent wins in walk-off fashion, after a baffling strike zone or poor call by an umpire, after each head scratching managerial decision, each time T-Mac says “HOW ABOUT THAT!” and after Wheels explains that a hitter is looking “middle-in”
There is no medical benefit to anything suggested in this post. Dr. Phan has no medical training or certification. In fact, Dr. Phan does not exist. *Yes, I do!* However, Displaced Phan, lover of all things Philly and online curator of Philly sports, shares your joy and pain. *100% TRUE*
Nicki H. is a Flyers Minion, experienced mixologist and kitchenwitch. She holds no real concern for your health and well-being; she finds your misery amusing. Follow at @PicklesTFC.
This “cure” is for persons of legal drinking age only. Please drink responsibly.
I can’t wait for Opening Day tomorrow!
