THE 76ers ANNOUNCE THEIR NEW MASCOT

After well over six months of debate, one fired mascot, three failed replacements, and one attempt at a mascot resurrection, the 76ers have finally named their new mascot…

YES, ALLEN IVERSON!!

It’s perfect!  He needs the work and we need the mascot.  Well done Sixers management.  This is awesome on so many levels!  Let me count the ways:

1.   He truly loves Philadelphia and the 76ers. He would never be faking it or phoning it in.

2.   The phans already have an undying love for him.

3.   He can dunk a basketball without the use of a trampoline.

4.   We can all go back to wearing our Sixers Iverson jerseys with pride and lock up the Beşiktaş Milangaz jerseys.

5.   As shown in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals, he brings a ton of energy to the WFC and the Sixers win when he’s there.  He can whip the crowd into a frenzy whenever he wishes.

6.   He can come in with 20 seconds left in the game and make a game winning shot.

7.   Instead of t-shirts, he will slingshot copies of the new Jewelz CD.

8.   If the Sixers are getting soundly beaten and the game is over in the 4th quarter, AI can cheer the crowd up by re-enacting the “Practice” rant.  That seriously never gets old.  My favorite part is at the very end of the clip.  Hysterical.

9.   The Phanatic would finally have someone interesting to hang out with.  Allen knows where to get the real good, you know…

10. The Eagles need a backup quarterback.  He won states at Bethel High in VA as the starting QB.

11. This:

Huge thanks to ineverbooedsantaclaus and @ddurk36518 for breaking the story.

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About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.
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One Response to THE 76ers ANNOUNCE THEIR NEW MASCOT

  1. terilyns says:

    I don’t even know what to say. lmao

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