Back in November of last year, the 76ers less than beloved mascot Hip-Hop was fired from his position with the team.  There were rampant rumors that he was found dead shortly after.  It is now known that Hip-Hop is very much alive.

After he was fired, he tried to get a job as a mascot with other sports franchises, but he was unsuccessful.  After his unemployment ran out, he become chronically depressed.  Unable to support his family, his wife took their children and moved in with her mother.  Hip-Hop then became homeless.

After months of living on the street, Hip-Hop discovered in February that the 76ers had still not settled on a new mascot and wouldn’t name one until after the season was over.  Hip-Hop became enraged and vowed vengeance on the team that he once loved.

He did everything in his power to derail the then first place Sixers.  His plan almost worked.  The Sixers began losing thanks to the plotting Hip-Hop.  He began to loosen screws on the rims that the Sixers were shooting at.  He greased their sneakers causing them to slip and turnover the ball.  The Sixers tumbled in the Eastern Conference standings.

Despite Hip-Hop’s best efforts, the Sixers made it into the playoffs as the 8th seed.  Hip-Hop was more determined than ever to have the Sixers eliminated as quickly as possible.  He set up a multitude of hazardous traps on the court.  Every one of them backfired, however, as the Chicago Bulls players, and not the Sixers were taken out one by one from the series.  Now that the Sixers have advanced to the 7th game of the Eastern Conference semi-finals, Hip-Hop will surely be in Boston at his diabolical worst to finally exact his revenge.  We can only hope that the Sixers will prevail over tyranny and the Celtics.

About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.
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