Here is the newest edition of THE DISPLACED PHAN™ FREE ASSOCIATION TAUNTING GUIDE FOR 12 YEAR OLDS AND DRUNKS (NATINALS EDITION). If you missed our first guide, let me quickly rehash. These guides are here to help Phillies phans heckle the opposition in their own ballpark to their fullest capabilities. We have a reputation to uphold, you know. These guides are written by coming up with the first derogatory/inflammatory name that pops into my head. Here’s the newest edition just in time for the big series with the Natinals. Occupy Citizens Bank South!
#1 Steve Lombardozzi Jr. = A disappointment to your father
#2 Roger Bernadina = Nurse shark
#3 Wilson Ramos = Wilson Phillips
#8 Danny Espinosa = Mimosa
#17 Sean Burnett = Carol Burnett
#18 Chad Tracy = Dick
#20 Ian Desmond = E-6
#21 Xavier Nady = X-Nads
#24 Rick Ankiel = Keel Over
#25 Adam LaRoche = Ritalin or Andy’s better than you
#26 Jesus Flores = Fleury, Fleury, Fleury, etc.
#27 Jordan Zimmerman = Not Ryan
#28 Jayson Werth = Money For Nothing
#32 Tom Gorzelanny = Whores A Granny
#33 Edwin Jackson = “No Action” Jackson
#34 Bryce Harper = Harper’s Fairy
#35 Craig Stammen = ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-STAMMEN
#36 Tyler Clippard = Old Mother Clippard
#37 Stephen Strasburg = You’d be our spot starter.
#45 Ryan Perry = Katy
#47 Gio Gonzalez = Gia
#48 Ross Detwiler = Snotwiler
#52 Ryan Mattheus = Prometheus Bound
#57 Tyler Moore = Mary Tyler Moore
#63 Henry Rodriguez = HR Puffinstuff
Please distribute this to all of your friends that will be at the games this weekend. Let’s show the DC media how despicable we can all truly be.
GO PHILLIES! BOO GNATS!