MY RELENTLESS CRUSADE TO CONQUER THE EARTH (reviewing Displaced Phan’s first week online)

According to Geography.com there are 196 countries in the world.  This doesn’t count places that everybody thinks are countries like Puerto Rico, Greenland, and every spot in the UK.  In it’s first week online, Displaced Phan has been viewed in 4 countries for a total of 2.04% of the recognized Earth. That okay, I guess.  But, just like Oliver Twist and Veruca Salt, I want some more and I want it now.

Please Earth, I want some more. I only want the whole world, NOW!

Here’s the cool kids list thus far…

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

This is no surprise considering most of the people I know are American and we discuss American sports here.  Philadelphia is there.  Plus the United States of America is dope as all get-out.

CANADA

America’s cousin to the North.  I love Canada because it sends the US all of their best hockey players and hot chicks every year.  Plus, they’re so darn nice.  Also, SCTV was from there and that’s pretty much the best show ever.

AUSTRALIA

America’s other cousin.  Australia is it’s own continent and a penal colony which is super cool.  They also know how to wrestle every kind of animal in the world.   Plus, they are also extremely nice just like Canadians, which makes me think, why are Americans such jerks?

CHILE

Yes, my wife’s click on this site totally counts.  I love Chile.  Chile is the earthquake capital of the world and my daughter was born here.  They also speak the only form of Spanish that I completely don’t understand, which is round the clock awesome.

So, that’s it so far.  I would love to see Europe, Africa, and Asia make an appearance during April.  I’d also like to see someone in South America other than Mrs. Phan visit the site.  I’m guessing that some of the scientists and penguins (the cute ones, not the ones from the 9th Circle, PA) must have a WiFi connection, so they should check us out too.  Spread the word people!

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About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing in places not named Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes.
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One Response to MY RELENTLESS CRUSADE TO CONQUER THE EARTH (reviewing Displaced Phan’s first week online)

  1. Pingback: A WORLD DOMINATION UPDATE | Displaced Phan

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