THE SKY IS MOST DEFINITELY FALLING (4/19/12 Edition)

We haven’t Chicken Little’d in over 3 weeks, but it’s time to now.  Since the Phillies game didn’t start until 11:30 pm Chilean time last night, I went to bed fully disgusted (thanks, Flyers).  I hoped that I would wake up and see that the Phillies had won and saved an otherwise dreadful sports day (sorry, Jrue).  That didn’t happen.  My mind is so conflicted right now.  I feel the “NEGADELPHIA” thinking creeping in.  That must mean that it’s time, loyal reader, for the latest edition of “The Sky Is Falling”.

THE FLYERS:  They got their heineys handed to them on a platinum, diamond-encrusted platter last night. Not only did they lose by a touchdown, but they largely looked uninterested in actually playing hockey.  It seems like the Penguins have finally figured out how to play hockey for more than one period.

My feelings exactly, however, why are you so mad? You didn't even try to wear orange. Sit down, sir. Just sit down.

Remain calm??–Of course!  The Flyers are still winning 3 games to 1 and there is zero reason that they can’t win on Friday night.  It just would’ve been nice to sweep.  No one deserved a broomstick more than pittsburgh.  I think we all expected a sweep, which made last night’s loss that much more painful.

Reason to PANIC!!–Absolutely.  The Flyers have awoken the proverbial “sleeping giant.” We all know that the pengos are good.  We also know first hand that a team CAN come back from an 0-3 hole to win.  That’s what scares me most.

The Verdict: Remain calm.  The Flyers have three more chances to win one game.  They have to be embarrassed after last night.  They are not going to get embarrassed like that two games in a row.  Some “sports writers” are laughably seriously suggesting that Michael Leighton be called up.  If I told you before the playoffs started that the Flyers would be beating the pens 3-1, you’d be ecstatic.   Calm the hell down, everyone.  The Flyers are fine and will be even finer if the rangers and bruins lose.

THE PHILLIES:  They can’t score.  Cliff Lee pitched more than a game’s worth of shutout baseball last night and the Phillies still lost.  I was surprised to see that SMDH Herndon did not pitch the 11th inning to lose.  I was not surprised to see that Ty Wigginton can’t turn a double play which led to the loss.

Stay Calm??–The Phillies have won the most games in the Majors the past 2 years. That’s with people being hurt and a mostly poor offense.  People rag on him all the time, but the Phillies are missing Ryan Howard.  The Phillies still have exceptional pitching. Utley and Howard will come back at some point this year.  The Phils just need to get a little luckier and get a couple more timely hits and they’ll start winning.

Reason to PANIC!!–The Phillies score less than I did in high school, which is almost statistically impossible (unless there are negative runs).  It’s been a problem that’s been getting worse for a couple of seasons now.  It’s entirely possible that Howard won’t play this year and Utley’s done being a quality player.  We’ll probably lose about thirty 1-0 games this year.  We’re in last place for crying out loud.  LAST PLACE!  I haven’t used the word “bums” to describe this team in a long time.  I think it’s still a bit early to use the “B-word”, but, it’s creeping ever closer to my lips.  Current Bums:  NixNix, SMDH Herndon.  Ty Wigginton is not on the list, but he’s getting closer.  I haven’t seen any games in close to a week thanks to the Flyers and the West Coast utilizing West Coast time.  Thanks, Ruben, this is all your fault somehow.

The verdict:  Remain calm.  These issues aren’t new.  They’ve had guys hurt, couldn’t score runs, etc for two years now.  There’s no reason to believe that they won’t put together some wins sometime soon.  In the meantime, just drink plenty of these and deal…

I miss you every day. I like to think that this is the beer that Jesus drinks in Heaven.

THE SIXERS:  They were so good for awhile, but they’ve lost like crazy lately.  There’s not too much to say about them.  Many people have forgotten that they’re in the middle of a playoff hunt.

Stay Calm??–The Sixers seem to be good when they want to be.  Right now, they’d get into the playoffs as an 8 seed, which to me is way better than a 7 seed.  This is because I’d much rather the Sixers play Chicago (a team that they’ve had some success with) than Miami (a team that smokes them 90% of the time).

Reason to PANIC!!–The Sixers might as well tank to try to get a lottery pick.  We all know that they’ve screwed themselves of actually winning a first round playoff series. They might as well try to move up in the draft.  The Sixers need better players and they are unlikely to come via free agency this offseason.  Regardless of making the playoffs or not, they need to trade Iguodala and use the franchise tag on Brand this offseason and see what they can get.  One ping-pong ball is better than zero!  I’m panicking because I don’t think this scenario will happen.

I can only hope this happens again.

The Verdict:  I’m choosing to panic.  As ridiculous as this sounds, I don’t want the Sixers to make the playoffs.  I want them to get the best possible draft position.  I wouldn’t go as far as I’m rooting against them, but I’m concerned about the future of the team.  Sacrifice now, for greater gains later.  Losing in the first round accomplishes very little other than giving the young guys some more experience and making a few bucks on home attendance.  The best way for this team to improve is getting a good draft pick.  Bye Iggy, bye Brand.  I love you guys, but it’s business, never personal.

SO DOPE!

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About Displaced Phan

Displaced Phan is a Philly Sports obsessive residing over 5,000 miles from Philadelphia. Send Lager, soft pretzels, and Tastykakes!
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